A Letter to my 22 year old self

You know that saying ‘if only I knew then what I know now.’ I look back now over the years and can recognize things I wish I had learned earlier that I think would have made a difference. We all know people who we look at their success in life and we wonder why it has been so difficult for me and not so much for them. Probably just our perception, yet I do believe there are people who just get it and don't struggle as much with the daily grind of life.

As a woman, I often notice the women I admire have had good parental units to learn from and especially have had a good relationship with their father. A dad who has been a positive and moral example and who has instilled a sense of self-worth and confidence beyond the trappings many women experience. That our looks, our kindness, our giving spirit, and our sexuality are our greatest currency.

No this is not about blaming parents who were not able to be that leader and example. It's just an observation. In the end, we are responsible for ourselves and how we grow and learn in life. And yes, some people do get a little extra hand up that not everyone else gets, and plenty of them squander it.

Some people go through life like a wrecking ball with no apologies for how they live or how they interact with others. And some live a fear-filled life always trying to please everyone else and never really figuring out who they are. Life and how we all develop is such a multi-layered journey.

There are some specific things that I look back on that I wish I had known earlier that I think could have made a huge difference in teaching me some valuable lessons that I have not learned until much later in life.

things I would tell my 22-year-old self and I would recommend them to anyone starting adulthood.

1) Seek out a mentor, somebody who is willing to be a voice of knowledge experience, and guidance. Mentors can come in all forms be it a colleague, an extended family member, or someone you admire that you may not even have a direct connection with that you could initiate a mentoring relationship with. I realize I never had what I would call a mentor until my 40’s. Yikes!

2) Don't say no too quickly to opportunities that present themselves no matter how big or small because you never know where they could lead you and what you might learn. I have always been an animal lover and often wondered why I did not become a veterinarian. I recall a time when I was visiting my mother in Saint Lucia right after high school graduation, and I met someone who was working on the island counting and tagging a native bird that was becoming extinct. I was offered the opportunity to go with them into the forest for a week or two to help and I turned it down. I cannot remember now why because I wanted to do it, but I have never forgotten that and have kicked myself for not jumping at the opportunity.

3) Embrace failure, not perfectionism. Failure? Embrace failure? Aren’t we supposed to strive to not fail? Wrong! How wrong could I be? I did not understand the importance of trying and failing and embracing the lessons and the journey. I do now. It is through trying and failing and learning that we become the best versions of ourselves and experience the true beauty of all life has to offer.

DREAM BIG!

4) Allow yourself to dream big! What does it mean to dream big? I think I still have not learned this one. Who are we to dream about big things for ourselves and know that the world holds so many amazing opportunities and options that are there for us to tap into? Sounds simple right? Some people I think are truly gifted with the ability to think this way. They go for it! They see all the world’s endless possibilities. And many of us see the limitations. Learned or gifted at birth? I am not sure. But I think one of the biggest gifts you can give your child is to teach them it is not only okay to dream big...it is required!

A short list. I know I could come up with more but these are the ones that have been on my mind a lot lately.

Best,

Terri