6 Lessons of 2020

What can I do without?

I think most of us learned this one. Not being able to go out and participate in the usual social activities makes you dig deep into your own self and consciousness in a way that forces you to consider what gives you pleasure, versus what we do out of habit. Not being able to go out to dinner and drinks, Americans’ favorite pastime, at first felt like a big loss. Then it became a way to save some real money. Then I started asking myself how much I really enjoy it and why do I need it? I came to understand that for me personally, what I really enjoy is completely about the atmosphere, whether there is some local music, the environment around the venue….and of course who I am sharing it with. The truth is, I am a pretty darn cook, so it is not usually about being able to get better food than I make myself. With some exceptions…kudos to the creative master chefs.

I found myself spending more time and money on things that I can learn from and that offer me longer-lasting pleasures. I got into some podcasts like I had not previously. I took some more online learning courses. I spent more time with Mom playing board

games. I spent time researching and learning a new industry for my side hustle. I learned to be quiet and not have to be entertained all the time. Wowzer!

What is Important to Me?

I always knew it but 2020 reiterated what is most important to me and gives me the most joy: the beauty of nature, feeling healthy and strong in mind and body, keeping my mind active with new learning, and being with the few people in my life who mean the most to me. Since we could not get together with just anyone, it emphasized to me that I do not need a lot of people in my life. I need a few tried and true who get me, care about me and are dependable.

Where I Will Not Compromise

If you did not already have strong convictions about your own values, I think 2020 forced us all to examine them. I got sucked into the twitter rabbit hole like many, but in the end, I made the choice to keep out the negative, fear-driven propaganda and the shouting and name-calling for peace of mind that I know what I value. I know what does not sit right in my psyche. I am okay with not having to “enlighten” or convince others where they are falling prey. We all must find our own truth. But I will not be silenced ever again about what I hold dear and what I know is a better path for our country.

Build Your Tribe & Create Your Bubble

This is a jump off the last one. I learned that if you allow yourself to be sucked into the negative vortex, you can feel alone and isolated, and hopeless quickly. So, it is of utmost importance to surround yourself with and seek out your tribe.

It does not mean that you completely shut off everything else and stick your head in the sand. You still must be aware, but you choose the energy you let in daily. You know the saying; you are who you associate with. No truer words in 2020. I have found my tribe and working on the bubble.

Exercise Critical Thinking

This one is huge! We heard a lot about the lack of critical thinking over the past year. This is such a big one that I know I cannot do justice in expressing just how much this matters. Take for example the idea I expressed above about finding your tribe. As humans, one of our biggest needs is to belong. We need to feel a sense of belonging to people, community, family. 2020 challenged many of us in this area from the sheer nature of being restricted access to many of what we would feel a sense of belonging. It is one of the reasons people were glued to the media and online channels. We were seeking our tribe anywhere we could get it.

The danger in getting so ingrained into a group is that you can lose your ability for critical thinking. “Because belonging is policed by subgroups. When we follow the rules, when we do what they say and agree without causing trouble, we are rewarded with belonging. However, when we say something true that is divergent, usually

belonging gets revoked. So many keep the peace rather than handing over belonging for review”. – Jen Hatmaker. Het true freedom comes from being able to speak your truth even if you are shunned from your tribe. That my friends are the double-edged sword of critical thinking. But I have experienced the freedom that comes from it and would never choose anything else.

Be Grateful

We hear this a lot but there is power in learning how to be grateful for the big and not so big things in life. 2020 was a good time to learn this skill. What did you learn to be grateful for?

Best,

Terri